Five yr old challenge

December 22, 2007

remember this post about post-apocalyptic five year old warfare?

well i came across a website that give you a quiz to test to see how many they think you could take.

apparently they reckon i could only take 26. I feel a bit ashamed (blast my lack of martial arts and low previous fight exprience).
Although, having done the test a few times, my score has ranged from 19 to 27. i guess i’m giving different answers, but not intentionally.

26 At least a thousand

:: By mizzle 10 Comments

Hectic Dog!

December 21, 2007

Well it’s fair to say that the last few days have been quite hectic. Apart from last minute Chrissie shopping, I got HSC results and UAI, Drove 550 kms to Armidale and back in one-and-a-half days and got into three car collisions. With the whole car incident, the first time I was parked and was leaving. There was little room, so I wiggled my way back and tapped the car behind quite softly, a tap nonetheless. In a hurry to leave to get away I clipped the car in front of me and dislodged a bit of his rear bumper. Then today I went down a dead end street and so did another car. We both went to three point turn-around, and I was behind her. She was in a rush and didn’t look behind and was coming at me. At this point my car, as always, stalled. I honked but it was too late, she hit my front bumper. We both got out and she was like “are you alright?”…I replied, “yeah, I’m more worried about your car”, which was mostly fine except the rear bumper cracked a tiny bit. She didn’t care and we both left as she was “really late for a wiggles concert” (her kids in the back and all). OK…HSC stuff. Well Ill make it quick my HSC marks were as followed…

Ancient History- 83
Drama- 80
Advanced English- 81
Studies of Religion- 78
Modern History- 82

UAI needed…65

UAI achieved- 77.15

I’m happy.

Anyway I went to Armidale for a couple of days to help the sis bring stuff down cause she is leaving/has left. On the way down I drove for half the trip (270kms) and got to use cruise control for the first time. I loved it and possibly overused it to the point where the car decided if i was to overtake, not me making the decision. Armidale was alright, except the restaurant we were staying took like an hour to get our meals. I’m off to an 18th tonight which will finish at about 1 in the am, then it’s off to work tomorrow morning for an easy 10 hour shift.

Today’s car incident happened in the city, further adding to my hatred of this place of one way streets and overcrowding pedestrians.

:: By huw bizzle 3 Comments

Crappin’ Water

December 18, 2007

I love the headings of news articles, whether they be in the Sunday paper or on the net. The ones I especially like have puns, which is like most of them. Anyway today I saw the best pun-headline, i presumed it to be about Mark Philippoussis. It was…”Poo Squeezes Through.” I didn’t read the article, the headline was more than enough for me.

:: By huw bizzle 2 Comments

Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey, Goodbye!

December 14, 2007

I calculated that I have been at Paul’s Warehouse for about 31 months. During that time I have had quite a good time. The people I work with are cool, I get paid (not much) to do very little, and I get heavily discounted stuff. Nonetheless, I am considering quiting. The place isn’t as fun as it used to be. Just this week I found out that ‘Pauls’ Warehouse’ head office and warehouse are moving to our store. This means that Paul and all his high associates will be working in the same building as us, and that. In the last couple of days, all Pauls’ hot shot high officials have come in to check stuff out, and me, not knowing who they are, make my self look like an idiot trying to serve them… This got the better of me today. I served some fat guy. We didn’t have his shoe, so I left him to look for another pair. As a salesman, I’m not in-your-face, and I let the customer control sale mostly. I made sure I was in full view of him so he could ask for assistance if he needed it. Instead he reported the staff to our regional manager who was in today. She came out all guns blazing shouting at me for not adequately serving the customer. Did the customer tell this regional manager that I was the only one that actually helped the man in the first place…of course not. I then served him and the whole time he was like “i must be your most annoying customer.” While I calmly replied “why no sir”, while secretly wishing to bash him with the shoe he was trying on. So it’s most likely good bye Paul’s, but I’m not fazed, three years retail experience might just come in handy.

:: By huw bizzle 2 Comments

Paging Mr Strike

December 13, 2007

Over the past few weeks I have developed a bit of an infatuation with bowling. It started a couple of weeks ago. Since then I have been 4 times and my average scores have gone from 70 to about 120. Me and a friend also got shirts and made a logo and ironed our logo and names on. Our bowling name is ‘The Gutterballs’. We are actually thinking about going pairs bowling, but not quite yet. Also, the place we go is new. It has 38 lanes, a pub, heaps of pool tables and a ‘deal or no deal’ game. I played ‘Deal or No Deal’ twice last night. First time I got the 200. The second time I did ‘Double Deal’ and won the big 400. Anyway back to the bowling. Yesterday in 3 games I scored 115, 118 and 90. The third game was terrible, probably due to exhaustion. Yes I am that unfit, and bowling balls are quite heavy. The funniest part of last night was that we were next to a group of uni students, six in all, three guys and their gf’s. The guys were all pretty good, making the ball spin and all. The girls weren’t too bad either, except one of them. She bowled the ball as if to get backspin, but threw it in the air and it made such a loud sound when it hit the floor. I had to be relatively discreet about this. The whole car trip back home we were discussing which of the unlucky guys has her as a girlfriend when it comes to bowling.

:: By huw bizzle 5 Comments

dream, dream, dream

December 10, 2007

so i had another crazy/awesome dream last night.

it started off being on holidays somewhere. we were going to see a play i think, but I only remember coming out of the theatre, and being in the carpark.

I got a lift with these two guys who were mad gangstas and kept tagging it up. then one of them wrote over someone elses graffiti who was higher up the gang ladder than they were, and we had to hoon it away.

we decided to go get some oportos for dinner, but we were too late and it was shut.

someone remembered a 24hr one not too far away, so we drove to another shopping complex to go get some. When we got there, for some reason the first thing we did was go get seats in the food court. unfortunately the oportos had been relocated wasn’t on the same level as the food court anymore, so we had to go up a level.

it turned out though, that to get up to the next level we had to climb a tree. i got about halfway up, and then there were some people coming down, and they said they had right of way, so i had to go back down, let them off, and then go back up. up the top of the tree were the garven’s, doing some gardening. andrew kept throwing bugs at me, and i had to step on them to kill them.

from up the top of the tree we could see down on a path going through a park. i think the path was the path i used to walk along to go from school to the station. there was some rabid dog (although it may have also been a lion) that was going around killing people. then someone shot it and it exploded.

i went and got my oportos, but i think i couldn’t get as much as i wanted cos i didn’t have enough coin. so i climbed down the tree again.

there’s a bit of a break in the story here, i think i must have drifted into a different sleep stage, but the dream picked up again in the large hall at the church.

the large hall had a tennis net across it and roger federer (who was french in my dream) was teaching me how to play doubles better. we were against chris and huw i think. unfortunately, even in my dreams i’m pretty average at tennis and rodger was getting annoyed at me. eventually he asked to swap sides and i think he changed to join huw.

soon it was dinner time, and i think it was a debrief session for after the christmas celebration we had last night. there were sausages or pizza, and huw and i opted for pizza while everyone else went sausages.

Sue (a lady from church who huw in the past has unsuccessfully hid from in a broom closet) said grace. but this grace went on and on and on. the kids started eating in the middle of the grace, and i was prety keen to start eating too, but i had manners. eventually the grace finished, but some of the rat kids had eaten all bar one of my pieces of pizza when my eyes were closed.

after the unfulfilling dinner i went with some kids from school and started playing some mad ball game. it was kind of like rugby, ie you had to get the ball (though it was a soccer ball) from your end to the other, but instead of having an open field, the half way line was fenced. It was the sort of fence they have at tennis courts, and the only way through was a doorway on one side of the field. So pretty much, if you had the ball, you had to run as hard as you could to gain some momentum to get as far as possible through the door before getting pummelled by the waiting opposition side. chris gave me some pointers on how to tackle / get tackled better, but i still got smashed.

the field then morphed into big W, and I was pushing some around the shop really fast in a trolley. then we saw kamal and stopped for a chat with him, and he commented on how one of the jackets with it’s hoodie up looked like a green kkk costume.

as we were discussing the intricacies and possible consequences of wearing such a jacket, we heard a scream and some bogan had just punched a checkout chick in the eye. the chick told her friend to got get some guy called shameus to walk her to the carpark. I was wondering why no one was trying to get the bogan who punched her, so i got a run up and was about to give him a flying karate kick to the face when erin steps in front of me and goes “josh, it’s time to wake up!”

apparently that was erin in real life telling me to wake up though.
far out, missed my chance to be awesome.

:: By mizzle 10 Comments

Just Gotta Go

December 6, 2007

There is this really awesome fast food chain called Oporto, not sure if you southerners have heard of/eaten at it before. Anyway the food there surpasses all other fast food outlets. Today a new one opened about 5 minutes from my place. And I thought I was going to lose some weight these holidays. Alas.

:: By huw bizzle 2 Comments

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